"No! You too can NOT be gluten-free!" Ah, gluten-free reality bites again!
For the most part I'm a pretty good G/F advocate, but today, racing through the supermarket I dropped the ball and then I kicked it clear out of the parking lot.
Frenzied cashiers don't typically spare brain cells to converse, but this one said, "Purchasing all these gluten free items? I'm not on a g/f diet, I really don't know anything about it."
With four people in line after me, I slashed my response to, "We have to be, we have the disease."
"Oh," his eyebrows lifted, "What disease?"
Incredulous, I responded, "Celiac disease?"
"Oh," he goes on, "What is that?"
So with all those behind shooting the stink-eye, I rush on with the short answer, "A disease that makes us sick if we eat gluten."
"Wow, I've never heard of that," says Captain Obvious. "What does it do to you?"
Once again, seeking a short, euphemistic response, I say, "We die."
Oh, I know, bad form, but in my defense, I was in a hurry! He completed the order, flicked me the receipt, smiled and responded, "Well, I learn something new here every day."
I smile and push my cart toward the door only to feel the shockwave left from the mine I just stepped off of...
"I'm going to have to go gluten-free if I don't want to get that disease!"
I guffaw into the parking lot, imagining the undulating wave of detritis that might result from that accidental blast.