FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLES IV (excerpt from my book, Arms & Legs In and Have a Nice Ride)
Another flight. Today's therapy is visualization. I'm to sit, calm, breathe deep, imagine a happy auspicious outcome to a delightful flight.
But, it's not going to happen. I'm a celiac and that requires a specialized diet that is 80% more expensive than normal food and it's not reimburseable by the government and I can't even take it off on taxes... but that tirade is for another time.
Anyway, when I fly across country I take the opportunity to purchase foodstuff from specialty stores that have heard of flours that are gluten-free, unlike Oklahoma.
Anyway, I am packing this stuff cross country. And it is going to be a problem because I have two entire suitcases packed with four gallon sized bags of white powder and eight little pouches of more white powder.
The powders are innocuous flours, potato and tapioca starch, sorghum and amaranth flour, and the pouches are guar gum. They really are what they are labeled in Sharpie, but TSA can't know that.
And that's going to cause a problem--like always. I'm profiled every time for the extra search.
But no. I glide through security. Without a comment, no bag check, no chem test, not even a backward glance, or a flicking finger.
Although I did have to remove the ring that could potentially be a dangerous lazer.
So this round--to my mental chagrin--goes to me as I again win the TSA game. My ziplocks of white powder moved through airport security without a hitch.
The husband remarked, "The hard thing is to get it into the country from Colombia. But once it's here, it seems you can move it around with impunity."
And that makes all of us feel so secure--sit, breathe deep, calm...