SYMPTOMS

2003 was a decade birthday year. When I advance past one decade, I automatically tell people I am the next round number of the decade older. Besides keeping me from having to do math on the fly, it's reassuring to me to know in the back of my mind that I am never as old as I say.

Besides, people should never announce their true age out loud because then the body can hear and start acting it's age. Well, 2003 was the year that mine overheard!!!!

My body was sure that this astronomically high number meant that it was entitled to every illness that the pharmaceuticals on TV advertised. I needed the pill for reflux, the pill for heart arrhythmia, the pill for restless leg syndrome, the pill for frequent urination, another for achy joints, for sleeplessness, for bloating! It was the year of the little purple pill and I didn't know or care what it was for. THE BODY WANTED IT!

I wondered if I was just getting older... but that old that fast? I was sure I'd be dead by Tuesday, or just wish I were.

Turns out, after a complete year of worsening symptoms, my tummy began to hurt and finally I recognized symptoms that were related to food.

FYI: an excellent article from the Los Angeles Times: "You Know What Makes Me Sick?" http://www.latimes.%20com/news/%20opinion/la-%20op-abel27may27,%200,7635487.%20story?coll=